Pam Ayres has been a writer, broadcaster, and entertainer for over 40 years, and is one of the few authors who has had books in the Sunday Times bestseller charts in almost every decade since the 1970s.   She is the author of several best-selling poetry collections, including The Works, With These Hands, Surgically Enhanced and You Made Me Late Again!. Many of her poems are in school textbooks around the world including the UK, USA, China, Australia, New Zealand, Holland, South Africa, Ireland and Singapore.    In 2015, once again, the most borrowed poetry book in UK Libraries was Pam’s most recent book, You Made Me Late Again.

The English humourist, now 69, is as popular as ever, with gems such as this one called Had a Little Work Done:

O Botox, O Botox, I’m ever so keen,
To look as I looked at the age of sixteen.
Induce paralysis, do as I ask,
Give me, O give me, a face like a mask.
O take up a surgical bicycle pump,
And give me some lips that are lovely and plump,

Young men will stagger and say ‘Oh my God!

Here comes Pam Ayres …and she looks like a cod!’



As well as her books Pam’s range of Greetings Cards, launched in early 2014 by card publishers Peartree Heybridge, are on sale in many Gift & Card shops, and in branches of Waitrose and the National Trust shops.     The cards can also be bought online from Click on link below to view/order cards.

Pam has recently returned from overseas where she performed concerts in New Zealand, and on board P&O’s ship Arcadia cruising between Auckland and Adelaide, followed by several appearances in the Dubai Literary Festival. In Dubai an eclectic collection of 170 authors from all over the world combined to produce one of the most diverse and interesting Literary Festivals in the world.

Pam now has a busy schedule of concerts – see Tour Dates page – through the Spring and Summer, including a return to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in August where Pam will be appearing in the Assembly Rooms Music Hall, in George Street. Pam will be appearing for three days only on Friday 8, Saturday 9, and Sunday 10 August at 2.05pm. Tickets will be on sale from mid-April, online at www.edfringe, or by phone from June 5 on 0131-226-0000.

The Autumn concert dates include a visit to Bristol’s St. George’s on National Poetry Day – Thursday 2nd October. See the Tour Dates page for all Pam’s theatre dates for the remainder of 2014.

Recently launched is the PAM AYRES GREETINGS CARDS range from card publishers Peartree Heybridge, which will be found in good card and gift shops. The cards will be available throughout the UK as the range is rolled out nationwide, and can also be bought online from Click on link below to view/order cards.

The eagerly-awaited new poetry collection from Pam Ayres, You Made me Late Again! Launches on September 26th and with more than 50 new poems from the nation’s favourite poet, it’s a treat!

From wishing your husband was more dashing to becoming a gran for the first time, Pam’s poems are observant, witty and poignant in equal measure. From exploding wardrobes, to  knowing you must eat more fruit, to the dog being afraid of the toaster – the poems are beautifully crafted, and her subjects the everyday and the universal.

Delightfully illustrated, most of the poems in You Made Me Late Again! are absolutely brand new, yet it also features several firm favourites from her stage shows, published for the first time, such as ‘The Make-Up Lady’ and ‘Tippy Tappy Feet’.

Order your copy today!

The publication of Pam’s new book coincides with Pam’s Autumn 2013 UK Concert Tour, together with appearances at several Literary Festivals, details of which are below.  Pam has sold millions of books, CDs, and DVDs over the years, and she is still a regular on TV and Radio, on programmes such as Just A Minute, Ayres On The Air, QI, Countdown, and The One Show.



Pam on Front Row
Mark Lawson talks to Pam Ayres about her life and poems. Watch on the BBC iPlayer

The Necessary Aptitude Out Now
Pam’s autobiography, The Necessary Aptitude, is now available .

Word Perfect
Pam’s latest DVD is entitled Pam Ayres – Word Perfect. Recorded at the Theatre Royal, Windsor, in March 2011, the DVD includes new poems & stories, and other poems not seen on DVD before.

Photograph of Pam Ayres