You Made Me Late Again!

The eagerly-awaited new poetry collection from the bestselling Pam Ayres.

With more than fifty new poems from Britain’s favourite poet Pam Ayres, You Made Me Late Again! is a treat.

From wishing your husband was more dashing to becoming a gran for the first time, Pam’s poems are observant, witty and poignant in equal measure. From exploding wardrobes, to  knowing you must eat more fruit, to the dog being afraid of the toaster – the poems are beautifully crafted, and her subjects the everyday and the universal.

Delightfully illustrated, most of the poems in You Made Me Late Again! are absolutely brand new, yet it also features several firm favourites from her stage shows, published for the first time, such as ‘The Make-Up Lady’ and ‘Tippy Tappy Feet’.

 

The Necessary Aptitude

‘NEXT, I APPLIED TO WORK IN THE ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT, a sealed room where women operated clattering machines like enormous typewriters. After I had catastrophically and erroneously applied all the wrong information to several trolley loads of documents and lumbered the staff with weeks of corrective work, I was shown the door by a tight-lipped manageress. I knew what was coming. Over the relentless, furious din of machinery, I lip-read the familiar words: “Lacks the necessary aptitude.”’

Pam Ayres’ early childhood in Stanford in the Vale was idyllic in many ways, and typical of that experienced by a great swathe of children born in rural areas in the immediate post-war years. Though her parents’ generation was harrowed by war, better times were coming. Everything the family needed was within walking distance in the village, and life with four older brothers and a sister in their crowded council house was exceedingly lively.

In her late teens, Pam grew dissatisfied with her life as a Civil Service clerk with only the local ‘hop’ for scintillating excitement. Having seen three of her brothers called up for National Service and sent off to exciting destinations, Pam felt desperate for travel and adventure. She joined the WRAF and soon found herself in the Far East. There she began to write in earnest, and develop the unique talent that would make her one of Britain’s favourite comics…

Written with Pam’s much-loved combination of humour and poignancy, The Necessary Aptitude is a beautifully written memoir of her early years.

The Necessary Aptitude

‘NEXT, I APPLIED TO WORK IN THE ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT, a sealed room where women operated clattering machines like enormous typewriters. After I had catastrophically and erroneously applied all the wrong information to several trolley loads of documents and lumbered the staff with weeks of corrective work, I was shown the door by a tight-lipped manageress. I knew what was coming. Over the relentless, furious din of machinery, I lip-read the familiar words: “Lacks the necessary aptitude.”’

Pam Ayres’ early childhood in Stanford in the Vale was idyllic in many ways, and typical of that experienced by a great swathe of children born in rural areas in the immediate post-war years. Though her parents’ generation was harrowed by war, better times were coming. Everything the family needed was within walking distance in the village, and life with four older brothers and a sister in their crowded council house was exceedingly lively.

In her late teens, Pam grew dissatisfied with her life as a Civil Service clerk with only the local ‘hop’ for scintillating excitement. Having seen three of her brothers called up for National Service and sent off to exciting destinations, Pam felt desperate for travel and adventure. She joined the WRAF and soon found herself in the Far East. There she began to write in earnest, and develop the unique talent that would make her one of Britain’s favourite comics…

Written with Pam’s much-loved combination of humour and poignancy, The Necessary Aptitude is a beautifully written memoir of her early years.

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The Works contains 120 of Pam Ayres’ best-known poems from the seventies and eighties, including ‘The Battery Hen’, ‘Please Will You Take Your Children Home Before I Do Them In?’, ‘Sling Another Chair Leg on the Fire, Mother’ and, of course, ‘Oh, I Wish I’d Looked After Me Teeth’.

For this new edition Pam has written a general introduction, as well as individual introductions to the poems, many of which are now illustrated with specially commissioned line drawings by Susan Hellard. This is the first time The Works has been available in hardback and is certain to delight Pam’s fans of all ages.

Pam is one of Britain’s best-loved personalities and has been a regular on television and radio for more than 30 years – most recently on Just a Minute, The Comedy Quiz, Countdown and her own series, Ayres on the Air. She performs her solo stage show throughout Britain and around the world and has a huge fan base in the UK, Australia and New Zealand.

What the critics say…

One of the fastest selling tickets at the Fringe, Pam Ayres’ appeal seems undiminished.
Edinburgh Herald

Pam Ayres is a poet for the people. Her verse portrays a wicked sense of humour, and deals with subjects not normally thought to be worthy of poetry.
Melbourne Herald Sun

Pam Ayres, the bestselling poet, writes as rhapsodically about the Wonderbra as Wordsworth did about daffodils.
Guardian

Pam Ayres is a proper poet, whose wistful, funny, and perceptive verse captures both the joy and unfairness of life.
Sunday Times

Surgically Enhanced

Pam Ayres is one of our most widely-adored poets throughout the world and is nothing less than a national treasure. Her work is popular with fans of all ages, and her wry observations on the peculiarities of modern life will raise a smile from even the most hardened cynic. This new collection is a must-have for Pam’s many fans — and for anyone who enjoys beautifully crafted stories and poems to make you laugh and make you think.

With These Hands: A Collection

WITH THESE HANDS is a collection of the very best poems and sketches from one of Britain’s best loved entertainers. The pieces are presented together with delightful illustrations by Susan Hellard providing the reader with a beguiling insight into the heart and mind of Pam Ayres.