To the official website of writer, broadcaster and entertainer Pam Ayres. Featuring official poems, news, tour dates, books and dvds and everything you ever wanted to know about Pam...

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Pam Ayres has been a writer, broadcaster, and entertainer for over 40 years, and is one of the few authors who has had books in the Sunday Times bestseller charts in almost every decade since the 1970s.   She is the author of several best-selling poetry collections, including The Works, With These Hands, Surgically Enhanced and You Made Me Late Again!. Many of her poems are in school textbooks around the world including the UK, USA, China, Australia, New Zealand, Holland, South Africa, Ireland and Singapore.    In 2015, once again, the most borrowed poetry book in UK Libraries was Pam’s most recent book, You Made Me Late Again.

The English humourist, now 69, is as popular as ever, with gems such as this one called Had a Little Work Done:

O Botox, O Botox, I’m ever so keen,
To look as I looked at the age of sixteen.
Induce paralysis, do as I ask,
Give me, O give me, a face like a mask.
O take up a surgical bicycle pump,
And give me some lips that are lovely and plump,

Young men will stagger and say ‘Oh my God!

Here comes Pam Ayres …and she looks like a cod!’



As well as her books Pam’s range of Greetings Cards, launched in early 2014 by card publishers Peartree Heybridge, are on sale in many Gift & Card shops, and in branches of Waitrose and the National Trust shops.     The cards can also be bought online from www.shopperfrolics.net. Click on link below to view/order cards.

Latest Tour Dates




Sun 2     7.30pm  PORTSMOUTH New Theatre Royal        023-9264-9000           www.newtheatreroyal.com 

(Re-arranged from Wednesday 29 June – for

You Made Me Late Again!
You Made Me Late Again!
The eagerly-awaited new poetry collection from the bestselling Pam Ayres. With more than fifty new poems from Britain’s favourite poet Pam Ayres, You Made Me Late Again! is a treat.